desire

Sunday, January 6, 2008

We go back to school tomorrow.
I am relieved in a way, because that ensures no more boredom. However, I am also nervous. I'm worried that I'll settle back into my old routine--that cycle I mentioned awhile back. I don't know. I've asked God to help me, and to continue giving me a desire for Him, so I guess all I can do now is do my best, and trust that He'll "back me up". =]

Today I was talking to a friend of mine over text-messaging, and we were talking about her life at school, and how she has trouble being "herself", in other words a christian. She said that everyone around her cusses, and that makes it hard for her. I though to myself, "GoodNESS! Just wait til she gets to high school!" Really, though, I understand what she's saying. And it made me think. Am I like that? Do I live a "double life"? Not exactly. I can say though that my problem is not a matter of what I do at school, but what I don't do. I look at people and I see the pain behind their smiles, I see their needs that haven't been met, and I see their desire for love and attention...but do I do anything? NO. I preach about this God I love and serve, and how He's done so much for me, yet I don't even try to show those other people my faith in action. Several people come to mind from my 7th period. I want to help, I want to talk to them. But how do you bring up a conversation with someone you don't know that well, without them getting defensive?

If I could, I'd tell the girl on my bus that no matter what goes on in her life--at home, her relationships, her friends--that Jesus will always be there for her, if she'd only give her heart to Him. I'd tell her that He won't ever let her down, He won't break her heart, and He'll be the best, most reliable friend she could ever have.

If I could, I'd tell the girl that doesn't smell very good that I don't know what goes on at her house, or why she's not being taken care of, but if there is anything at all that she needs, I would do my best to get it for her. Whether it's a bath, a toothbrush, or even just a friend...I want to help make her life a little bit better, and give God all the credit.If I could, I'd tell the most fashionable girl around that...*gotta go*

Until later,
Courtney