Oh man...I thank God so often that I have friends and family who care about and can relate to how I feel about things, and I'm thankful that God has given me writing as an outlet to express myself. Some people have music or speech, art or whatever, but writing has been the only consistant thing that helps me explain myself. Without it, I don't think people would know me as well as they do.

Tomorrow I send off my $200 enrollment and housing deposit. Up until this point the preparations have just seemed like more steps along the path, but actually sending off money and waiting to see who my roommate will be makes it all the more real! I really am excited. I'm excited to get out of Lehigh, and to meet new people, and to learn in such AWESOME-sounding courses! I'm excited to test my faith and see what I'm really made of and how much I can really handle. Yes, I'm still concerned about leaving Val and my family and friends behind, but I try to remind myself that Lakeland is NOT that far away.

I'm waiting to see the rest of my financial aid packet for Southeastern. So far it's looking pretty good--no loans. We'll see what else I can get from them. Edison, on the other hand...I need to call tomorrow to find out if they're really done reviewing my financial information. So far they're saying that all I'm getting from them is Bright Futures, which is not good. The state changed how much money you get, so instead of getting 100% of community college, I will get $78 per credit hour. That's close, but doesn't quite cover tuition. Then there's books, still...so, yeah. We'll see. I should look for a job. Haha. You know, I laugh, but I really should. It's just extremely difficult. I don't want to be making excuses or anything, but without a car I'm confined to Lehigh, and of course in this economy I haven't heard of anyone in Lehigh hiring. It's tough, and I hate having to rely so much on my parents for stuff. Val's great too--he spoils me! Without him offering to pay for me, I'd never go out or do anything with him! Lol

Well, I'm out for now. Goodnight!

What To Title This...

Ohhh, I am dreading January.
It's going to be so hard.
I will miss my family so much, but
I know that I will always have them.

What if Val gets tired of me not being there?
He says he won't, but maybe he's wrong.
How does he know?

I don't want to lose him because of that.
Well, I don't want to lose him at all.
These thoughts just make me want to
stay here in Lehigh.

God, comfort me please.
I love you, and I know that
when all else fails, You are
STILL THERE.

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